I have always been fascinated with the various parts of ourselves. The different voices inside our head.
I believe as we go through the chapters of our life, these aspects of ourselves stay with us though some emerge more strongly at different stages of our growth.
My book The Angel Of the Seven Shards is based on this very subject.
For many years I studied Psychosynthesis - a therapy that I found fascinating.
It was within these sessions that I became aware that it was not one voice but many that lay claim to our opinions, reactions and guide our decisions.
The therapist would interview the different parts of my self, or 'Sub – Personalities', as we call them in Psychosynthesis.
I was shocked by the personal war I had going on within my own mind. It was amazing, the different opinions and conflicting views that came out of my mouth depending on who the therapist was talking to.
Recently, I was talking to a friend about my book, and I mentioned the voices inside our heads. He looked at me like I was mad.
‘I only have one voice,’ he said, ‘and that’s me.’
I smiled.
I think one of the biggest lessons I have learned in life is to not always believe your thoughts & that voice you hear guiding your movements, especially if you are tired!
And never forget that there is more than one you!
On my journey of undoing who I thought I was – or who I thought I should be, I finally realised that there is only one voice I can truly rely on and that is a voice that comes from the deep, silent part of me, a place of no fear, a place of deep knowing.
It’s this voice I draw my true beliefs from – a place of love, where no matter what is happening around me, I understand that everything is unfolding perfectly.
I am not at war with myself here, and I know that anything is possible. I know that I can manifest my dreams. I don’t even fear death – but rather see it as a coming home.
I wish I could live in this place all the time.
The truth is, it comes in glimpses, in beautiful moments. But I hold onto these moments like a precious flower imprinted on my heart.
So when its dark and I am listening to another voice inside, I see it there in the distance.
I see the outline of the shape of Knowing, and for a brief but beautifully encompassing moment, I look past that Other self, speaking loudly from its pedestal, thinking it knows best.
I have perhaps seven main voices in my head. There is the little girl inside of me, and I have to take care of her; she is full of gifts, precious—I don’t ever want to loose her.
She is the core of my vulnerability. I used to be angry with her. I found her too sensitive for this world. So I learned to build colourful sub-personalities for her to hide behind.
Now I value her deeply.
Sadly, I think the strongest voice I had, until now, was the ‘not good enough voice,’ though I’m learning to silence her more and more.
And then there is the Perfectionist, my Broken Self, the Colourful Showgirl, the Powerful Woman…and here am I, just me, a mixture of them all.
A wonderful heady cocktail of my past shaped into a beautiful human being.
But there is only one truly guiding voice – seek out that voice – the higher- self, your guardian angel, the voice of God, whatever you wish to call it – that voice is where your loyalty should lie.
Listen out for that voice and remember…the others aren’t often telling you the whole truth